Passion for Life

(it takes me a long time and even more courage to had able to write on this) Sometimes I am really amazed looking at my (messy) friendster blog in which I had practically junked everything inside. I have seen through how i react to things happens around me. I can still imagine myself jumping up and down, telling everyone around me on some peanuts issue. It sounds so stupid! Seeing in another angle of my eyes right now, i think it is the passion for life that making me so sensitive to things that happen around me. That is just be being passionate to get things through in my own way. Trying to adapt myself to the tough environment, trying to fight against my own morale and value with the environment that in a way i choose to stay in. I had made every effort to go through my life on my own and trained myself to be though enough to survive everywhere. Just because i had the passion for life and...... future. Not as at this moment in life that i am so calm, so humble, so quiet when it comes to even a big issue or critics to me. Do i just need to act like a grown-up or i just loss my passion for life? I just loss the charm of that active-me in the past. I don't know much on how to deal with life, the so-called adult life. I am trying very hard to adapt to it, trying to be presentable but i just feel uneasy and i always have to screwed something out of it because it is so not me. Act like myself? I am too lost to find myself in this world. I loss the passion for life which i think it is important (although it sounds to motivational book author)